Paul Coupar reviews
Paul Coupar21-Nov-2006
Stiff Upper Lips and Baggy Green Caps: A Sledger’s History of the Ashes
by Simon Briggs (Quercus, 280pp) £9.99
“How’s your wife and my kids?”asked Rod Marsh from behind thestumps. “The wife’s fine,” repliedthe batsman, Ian Botham, “but thekids are retarded.”Ah, sledging and the Ashes – twoof our favourite subjects, perhapstoo much so. The ground is soheavily trodden that it is hard tofind anything fresh, or even alive.But Simon Briggs, a cricket writeron the , pulls it off.His anecdotal history of the Ashes- long on stories, refreshingly shorton statistics – is a crackling tale.There are enough fresh insightsto hold the interest of the specialist.Here is Graham Dilley on Botham’srejuvenation after losing thecaptaincy in 1981: “It was almost asif you’d taken a child, made him anadult for a while, then allowed himto go back to being a child.”The writing is wonderfullycrisp. Using vivid snapshots ofkey players and moments, Briggsrattles through the 123 yearswith a scriptwriter’s feel for paceand detail. He puts in what thescorecards leave out.What emerges is a snappy,funny, vivid and accurate tellingof the Ashes story: the 19thcentury and the reign of WG (“theperpetual schoolboy”); the goldenage of classicism, bookendedby two pragmatists, Grace andWarwick Armstrong; the 1920sand Armstrong, “who treatedcricket as war”; Bradman (“not asingle redeeming defect”); Bodyline(Jardine: “I’ve got it! Bradman’syellow!”); 1953 (“Wear the buggersdown”); the 1970s (“gang warfare”);1987-2003 (the onslaught of the”Baggy Green Machine”); andfinally English catharsis in2005 (Edgbaston – “the mostfamous insertion since Brutus didfor Caesar”).It is all hurried along by somecorking quotes. So, without furtherado here are The Best One-Liners inAshes History -The Colin Cowdreyaward for chivalry: “It doesn’tworry me in the slightest to seethe batsman hurt, rolling aroundscreaming and blood on the pitch”- Jeff Thomson.The Sid Viciousaward for lèse majesté: “Nice legsfor an old Sheila” – Rodney Hogg,while in earshot of the Queen.The Sydney Hill award for audienceparticipation: “Hey, Warr, you’vegot as much chance of taking aTest wicket on this tour as I haveof pushing a pound of butter up aparrot’s arse with a hot needle.”The chances of making an Asheshistory sing afresh would seemto be no better. But Briggs’schronicle is a delight.
